


playing to lose

by bluntforcedrauma (fundips)



Category: Hunter X Hunter
Genre: Competitive Kissing, Fluff, Fluff and Humor, Kissing, M/M, One Shot, is that a tag? it is now
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-11
Updated: 2017-09-11
Packaged: 2018-12-26 11:10:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,403
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12057747
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fundips/pseuds/bluntforcedrauma
Summary: Killua considered himself a winner, but when it came to Gon the tables were frequently turned.





	playing to lose

**Author's Note:**

> Written as a warm-up and some more fluff practice. I have a really big AU project that I'm working on and I plan on releasing it later, but in the meantime I've been wanting to do more stuff because it makes me feel fresh.

Outside of Heaven’s Arena, the darkening sky was filled with lavender and indigo clouds, covering up the first stars of the night. Killua thought it would be a bit later when the match finished but Hisoka ended the fight quickly with Kastro. It seemed as if he won effortlessly (losing both arms in the process was an irrelevant factor since the magician didn’t as much flinch from those grave injuries). Killua would need Wing’s help for analyzing this kind of thing, and he was beginning to tire out anyways so it was better to return to his room for now.

When he’d opened the door, Gon was sitting cross-legged on the sofa. With the way his gaze suddenly fixed on Killua, he concluded that he was probably practicing Ten from the fake Nen principles Wing had taught them before.

“Killua! How was Hisoka’s fight?” Gon shot him the question almost immediately.

“It was boring.” Killua shut the door behind him, not even looking in Gon’s direction as he walked ahead towards the window. Beyond the oak-paneled suite, soft city lights glowed through the clear glass. The majestic view of the cityscape appeared with startling beauty. The fog softened the hard lines of buildings and diffused the orange glow of street lamps.

He heard Gon standing up behind him, the ruffle of clothes and the small pat of bare feet settling upon the carpet.

“Did Hisoka win?”

Killua glanced back at him for the first time since he’d entered the room. He felt a bit guilty at once for lying but he thought that if he told Gon the truth he would feel terrible about missing the match and wish he’d gone. Those eyes told a different story, however: they gazed with an intensity and curiosity that was signature to his growth.

In that moment, Killua knew that lying to Gon would get him nowhere. He would find out about the fight later through Wing or Zushi, and protecting him from his own guilt was useless. Killua knew he should start treating him with respect.

He looked back out towards the city.

“I was lying.”

He heard Gon behind him make a soft sound at that; not a hurt sound, but one that signalled greater interest.

Killua continued. “It was an incredible fight. I hate to admit this, but I have no idea how Hisoka won.”

“You couldn’t tell?”

Killua really couldn’t. He’d racked his brain the fight and even afterwards. He paced in the elevator with his hands in his hair theorizing all the ways Hisoka could have beaten Kastro, from his many mind games to his predictions and how his arm was healed on the spot. If he knew nothing about Nen he would even say that it was true magic. That was how it was supposed to appear to the audience, after all.

“Not at all.”

Gon paused momentarily. “Killua, we need to learn more about Nen.”

He nodded in response and turned his back to the city, leaning against the windowsill. It was true. Magic didn’t exist and Hisoka won by Nen alone, even if Killua couldn’t exactly pinpoint _how_. He had no idea that aura could be used with such creative and useful ways, and if they could pull it off in those methods as well, it would be an incredible feat.

“We will after you’re completely healed,” Killua said. “I’m not going to start without you and I can afford to wait.”

“But—”

“That’s final.”

Gon gave a frustrated groan as Killua brushed past him to flop across the couch. “Why can’t we make a bet?”

“I won’t bet against you,” Killua said as he kicked his legs up onto the coffee table.

“Are you afraid you’ll lose?”

“I’m not.”

“You totally are!” Gon placed his hands on his hips and frowned, leaning forward a bit. “I haven’t even said what I wanna do yet and you already think you’re going to lose.”

“That’s crap,” Killua waved his hand nonchalantly. “No matter what you challenged me to I’d win. Unless it’s mental math… then I wouldn't do so well.”

“Oh yeah I can’t do that either,” Gon collapsed on the couch next to him with a sigh. “But I was thinking about something else.”

“Not doing it.”

“Please?”

Killua knew that once Gon put his mind to something, it was completely pointless to argue. It would be better to get this out of the way so Gon would drop the issue.

“Okay fine. You won’t let up so have it your way,” he said. “Don’t be a sore loser when I win though.”

“I think you’re a bigger sore loser than me Killua. At least I didn’t storm out of the room because I couldn’t get the ball from Netero—”

“That was only one time!”

“—or when Zushi wouldn’t go down, you got pretty frustrated—”

“Okay, _two_ times.”

“—or right now, you keep arguing with me about the fact that you’re a sore loser even though you gave in already!” Gon concluded with a smile. That caused Killua to make some sort of sound that was a mix between a hiss and a growl.

“Just tell me what you want to bet on. I want to beat you already.”

Gon nodded and adjusted his posture to face Killua. He wasn’t quite sure what Gon was up to yet, but he took it as a sign that he should position himself in the same manner.

“I bet that if I win, you have to keep learning Nen without me.”

Killua wasn’t surprised. He expected that actually, but he wasn’t going to budge.

“And if I win?”

“I’ll do whatever you want me to do, even if that means leaving you alone about the Nen training. I’ll never talk about it until Wing says I can start using aura again,” Gon replied, his tone firm.

Killua pretended to think for a moment but he had already decided. “Alright, let’s do it. How do you want to settle this?”

“You get to pick the challenge and I get to pick the way it’s decided. That way it’s completely fair.”

He would definitely win in any type of fight against Gon but he didn’t want to risk hurting him or breaking another limb, which would set them both back another month. Playing a game would be a far easier route but he wasn’t sure if there were any offered here in Heaven’s Arena.

“How about we test to see who holds their breath the longest?” Killua suggested. It was a test of basic abilities, something small and simple. He was sure to win no matter how it was measured since he’d been trained to stay conscious without air for ten minutes at the least. There was no way Gon would top that.

“Okay!” he agreed almost instantly.

Killua sighed with relief. _This is going to be easier than I thought._ He took in a deep inhale, straightening his back as he learned during training, and began to hold it. There was no need to puff out his cheeks like most people did, which seemed to be the traditional method.

Out of nowhere, he caught a glimpse of Gon leaning forward suddenly. Before he could acknowledge what was happening, a kiss was firmly planted on his lips.

 _“Wha—?!”_ Killua gasped as he pulled back suddenly. He couldn’t stop his cheeks from flaming furiously as he suddenly clasped his face with both hands. “What… what the _hell_ was that?!”

“You could have been breathing through your nose Killua, so that’s how we had to measure it,” Gon explained after taking some time to let the air seep out of his lips. “Now I won, so you have to start Nen training without me!”

Killua gave a wheeze in disbelief. “Hey wait a second—no! I—”

“You’re being a sore loser Killua,” Gon shook his head. “I won fair and square.”

“How was I supposed to know you were going to measure it like that?! If you had explained it then I wouldn’t have freaked out! I was just _surprised_ that’s all.” That wasn’t the only reason of course. Whenever Milluki left his room (a fairly rare occurrence), Killua used to go through his collections to find all sorts of scenes like this. Whether or not Gon knew that kissing led to those sorts of things was… a different story.

“I didn’t tell you because you already started before I had time to tell you! Do you want to do it again then?”

“Yes! I mean—no! I mean—” Killua rubbed his temples. “Gon don’t you think that’s a little gross?”

Gon tapped his chin with a thoughtful expression. “No, not really. You brush your teeth as much as I do so I thought your mouth would be clean.”

Killua was beginning to feel as if he was the only one flustered, which was probably true in this case. “So you have no problem with this?”

Gon propped his chin up on his hand. “Not really. When I was on Whale Island, there was only one other girl my age. Whenever we would hold our breath in contests like these, she said that we had to do it like this to make sure neither of us were cheating.”

A flare of jealousy rose in Killua’s gut before he began rubbing the back of his neck. He had to distract himself from the thought of Gon doing this sort of thing with someone else, so he instead drew his attention back to the feeling of Gon's “kiss.” He wouldn’t admit it, but it sort of felt… nice? He tentatively licked his lips before realizing that whatever residue Gon left on them wasn’t natural. It almost tasted like chapstick.

Killua fixed his eyes on Gon’s lips, a bit curious at this point. “I think I want a rematch.”

“Okay! But you can’t complain if you lose again,” Gon said before inhaling and holding his breath.

Killua took in a deep breath as well and held it, his pulse beginning to quicken as Gon leaned forward shamelessly and pressed his lips upon Killua’s again.

It was small and chaste but Killua felt the warmth radiate from the kiss, slowly spreading through the rest of him. There was also a distinct berry flavor to Gon’s lips that was stronger than before now that he acknowledged its presence. It was definitely some kind of taste that was a bit intoxicating.

One minute in and he was starting to get a little dizzy from the chemicals swirling in his brain, but he wasn’t about to lose focus. In the haze of the blood rushing to his head, Killua managed to see Gon’s eyes close soon after.

It was little time later (he assumed thirty or more seconds) when he felt Gon pushing a bit harder on his lips. Killua couldn’t feel the slightest bit of air escaping Gon’s nose so he assumed that he wasn’t anywhere close to losing breath. Maybe he was trying to force Killua to surrender early.

At that thought, Killua felt the rise of his competitive streak. His eyes narrowed as he testingly scooted a bit closer, turning his head to the side to open his mouth a bit wider. He was careful enough not to let any breath escape and so far Gon seemed to be determined to last far more time than expected. Killua was going to have to conserve energy while keeping his fluster at a minimum. Even though this caused a thrill to stir within him, he knew he had no choice but to win. That was the purpose of this bet after all, but he found himself struggling keep his composure as a soft flush began to cross his cheeks. Gon was really close and warm and sort of… cute?

His hands were beginning to fidget at the thought. Fighting back the distraction, he remained concentrated.

They hit the two minute mark mark when Killua began to feel something touching the hem of his sleeve. He wasn’t able to pull back but he could tell they were Gon’s fingers beginning to wrap their grip up into the fabric. It wasn’t until the third minute passed when he began to feel Gon move a little forward and Killua noticed that he was actually being pushed back into the sofa, and he made a soft alarmed sound against Gon’s lips in response.

Gon was now directly on top of him, eyebrows a bit furrowed in concentration as his hands were both curled into fists in the fabric of Killua’s shirt. His lips had gotten noticeably softer but it seemed that he was holding most of his air in his lungs now instead of his mouth. Killua tried to keep himself occupied with more logical thoughts but they were slipping through his fingers as he instinctively placed both hands on Gon’s waist.

He had no idea _why_ he did it. Maybe it was because it was a subconscious act from reading too much manga from Milluki’s collection, but he felt that it was just the right thing to do in the moment. Luckily for him, Gon reacted well: he was still intense but he began to turn his head to the side like Killua had done before, which was a good sign and it made him feel like he was walking on air. The warmth was beginning to pool in his chest and he concluded that this was definitely jitters. There was no way he liked Gon like _that,_ he tried to assure himself.

It was the fourth minute mark and Killua couldn’t even bring himself to think about how Gon was able to hold his breath this long. Instead he found the taste of the chapstick (maybe it wasn’t cherry or a kind of berry…) to be exhilarating and incredibly distracting, and Killua began to question his true motives for taking up a rematch. He couldn’t deny that he was curious but he was pretty sure that it stemmed from the root of affection. Although he was ashamed to admit it, he enjoyed Gon’s close proximity and this was something else entirely. In a good way, he thought. He definitely felt far safer like this than anytime else.

Something else Killua noticed was how difficult it could be to close his eyes in the process of all this. Illumi had taught him to keep his eyes trained on a threat, and while Gon wasn’t really a _threat,_ this was a competition after all. He settled for a half-lidded gaze that was more pleasant than completely closing his eyes. It was more comfortable to keep Gon in his sights than to completely let go yet. It was only a matter of time though, since he was beginning to feel a little heady.

He was a bit glad that he kept his eyes open, though: once they reached the five minute mark, he definitely saw an outline of a blush on Gon’s face. It was a bit faint but it was there, and although it could have been from a lack of oxygen, Killua found himself a bit content with the thought of Gon becoming steadily flustered.

At five minutes and thirty seconds Killua’s grip was beginning to make an imprint in Gon’s skin. He was squeezing rather tightly on his waist and Gon was beginning to push against his lips a bit more, sliding himself down slowly off his hands and knees onto Killua’s chest. Gon was only holding himself up on his elbows on either side of him at this point. In this position, despite the lightheadedness, Killua’s heart fluttered at the feeling of Gon’s body laying on top of him. He was warm and didn’t weigh much but it could have been an effort to push some of the air out of Killua’s lungs by pressing their chests together. If so, Killua didn’t mind at all. He felt a little air release from his lips but it wasn’t enough to make a dramatic difference.

At six minutes, Gon was beginning to tremble under the strain. Killua could probably hold his breath for longer but Gon was beginning to reach his limits. In response, Killua let out a pleased hum as a small signal that it was okay to lose and he wouldn’t hold it against him.

Naturally he wouldn’t give up that easily though. He was starting to get tense and Killua could feel Gon’s heartbeat jump slightly. Maybe he was going to try something…?

He made a soft sound in surprise as Gon pressed his lips into the kiss deeper, gripping the collar of Killua’s shirt in a determined gesture. The sudden movement alarmed him a bit but if that was how he was going to play, he would definitely give him what he wanted. A bit fierce, Killua hooked his arm around Gon’s neck and pulled him down at an angle that was sloppy and awkward but he couldn’t care at all.

Without warning, Killua felt the lick of a tongue cross the outside of his lips and he made a startled noise. He almost felt his heart leap out of his chest, yanking back suddenly as he pulled away from Gon’s lips. He took in a deep and relieving breath as Gon wiped his mouth with his arm.

“I won!” Gon announced, cheeks and neck flushed pink.

“You freaking licked me, of course I pulled away!” Killua touched his own face only to find his fingertips just as hot as his cheeks. He was so flustered from it all he thought he could die on the spot without regrets. “You’re not supposed to use the tongue like that, it’s weird!”

Gon leaned back against the opposite end of the sofa. “It was an accident, but I won anyways so now you have to accept it.”

Killua let out a sigh as he sat himself back up, rubbing his mouth with his sleeve. “Fine, you won. Are you happy now?”

“Yeah,” Gon said as he threaded his fingers behind his head. “Oh, I was actually going to tell you… Wing said that we could both start Nen training again this week! Isn’t that great?”

Killua felt like a bucket of cold water was just dumped on his head. He was sure that his jaw hit the floor as he gave a small sound that he couldn’t even identify.

“You’re joking.”

“Nope!”

A vein twitched in Killua’s temple, his blood suddenly hot. “Why would you make this bet in the first place? You made me do all that stuff for nothing!”

He gave a smile. “Not for nothing, though. You helped with my focus and now I definitely feel ready to fight Hisoka. I guess I should say thank you.”

Of course, that was definitely something Gon would do. Killua ran his fingers through his hair and combed it back, a bit self conscious after realizing how messy it was after that challenge. “Yeah yeah, you’re welcome.”

Gon propped his chin up on his hand again, thinking. “Hm, but you know it was actually pretty fun. We should do that again as a Ten exercise since I think it can really help you.”

Killua should have complained. He should have showed resistance and jabbed his finger at Gon’s forehead and told him that it was a ridiculous idea, that he had no idea how to keep himself focused at all when Gon was that close. He should have scolded him on how gross it was to kiss people and asked him how in the world he lived with the embarrassment of being that oblivious and affectionate.

Instead he thought it would be far easier to be truthful with himself, pushing past the shame he was conditioned to feel from being vulnerable: he didn’t just like it, he _loved_ it. Gon’s warmth practically seeped into him in the purest way possible and now that it was over, it felt like cotton balls were mashed in his stomach, fluffy and soft. He practically melted into him like ice cream in a warm porcelain bowl, like he belonged with him. His chest already ached and it wasn’t from a sense of emptiness, but rather from being filled to the brim with comfort and a feeling of safety. It was foreign but completely welcome.

Killua’s eyes softened. “Yeah, I think it’ll help me a lot too.”

**Author's Note:**

> Per usual, my Tumblr is @godspeedcomplex or you can [click here](https://godspeedcomplex.tumblr.com) to follow me, ask me any questions, or talk about HxH! I also post drabbles whenever I’m suggested a prompt so if you want to check it out feel free. My ask box is always open.


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